An Artist's Worth

While reading The Artwork & Times of Pamela Coleman Smith by Stuart Kaplan and Lynn Araujo I couldn’t help but be struck by the parallels between her life as an artist and mine. Of course she had struggles that I couldn’t possibly relate to, such being alive in a time before suffrage and dealing with racial bias, but it seems not a lot has changed for artists over the last hundred years or so.

Professionally, I work on many different projects, none of which I’m given credit for and most of which pay far less than industry standard. You may ask why I put up with this and the simple answer is—I have no choice. My only skills and passion lie in art. This is why my personal work is so sacred to me. No one can remove my credit from it and though it has no monetary value, it’s valuable to me. It feeds my soul in a way that paid work can’t.

The passage below especially resonates:

“The unbridgeable gap between the intense visionary inspiration expressed in her art and the security of commercial success seems to have been puzzling and painful to her. ”

I think that statement probably rings true for most artists.

It is more than a little disheartening to realize that your idols were as disrespected as you are in their own time. It also makes it hard to believe things will ever change. We all want to be recognized and appreciated for our contributions to the world, but often times that feels like a pipe dream. In the case of Pixie, it took many years for her name to even be placed on the deck she illustrated.

At the end of her life she closed herself off from her friends and died broke and alone. It’s a little late, but the best way we can honor her now is to continue to enjoy her timeless work.

It’s so important to support artists while they are still alive.

It also happens to be world mental health day, which I think ties into this subject beautifully.

As unhealthy as it may be, artists tend to measure their own value by the success of their work. The author of ‘A Confederacy of Dunces’ John Kennedy Toole took his own life after failing to have his book published. It’s now hailed as a masterwork. There are so many stories like that and it just seems like such a waste.

Suicide is a sensitive subject for me, but one that needs to be discussed openly. In the span of a couple of years I was made to believe I lost one friend, and did lose another. I often wonder what he could have accomplished as an artist and as a human being. He taught me so much in the short time I knew him. He thought in a way that no one else does, but maybe that was part of the problem.

In both cases I did everything I could for them, but it wasn’t enough. No single person can give a world of validation to someone’s existence. Mental health issues can’t be combated solely by the love and support of friends, though I’m sure that helps. It takes widespread understanding and empathy. Until our culture stops stigmatizing those who are different, nothing will change.

Artists are passionate, sensitive, ambitious, and vulnerable. We’re always striving to be more because what we are is never enough. The most we can hope for is to be remembered for the work we put all of ourselves into then cast out into the world for others to experience. Art is what brings meaning to our lives. Art is what brings beauty to the world. That’s what makes it possible to keep going in spite of the struggle.

It’s OK to be different. It’s OK to feel things. Just be true to you. Never forget that you are the light that brings color into this world.